Hey there, golf nuts! It’s your favorite hot mess express, Linda Parker, coming at you live from my couch in sunny San Diego. Today, we’re taking a little mental vacay to Maui to chat about some of the most drop-dead gorgeous golf courses you’ll ever lay eyes on. Buckle up, buttercups, ’cause this ride’s gonna be bumpier than my putting stroke after a few mai tais.
Why Maui, You Ask?
Well, let me tell you. After spending the last year hacking my way through every course in SoCal (sorry, Torrey Pines, I’ll replace those divots… eventually), I figured it was time to set my sights on something a little more… tropical. Plus, my therapist says I need to “broaden my horizons” and “stop obsessing over that one bad round at Aviara.” Joke’s on her, though – I’m just trading one obsession for another!
Kapalua Golf Course: Where Dreams (and Golf Balls) Soar
Let’s kick things off with the crème de la crème of Maui golf: Kapalua Golf Course. This place is so pretty it should be illegal. We’re talking views of the Pacific Ocean that’ll make you forget all about that triple bogey you just carded.
Picture this: You’re standing on the tee box, ocean breeze ruffling your hair (or in my case, threatening to blow off my visor). You take a deep breath, line up your shot, and… slice it right into the drink. But hey, at least it’s a really pretty drink, right?
True story: I once played a course back home in Coronado with an ocean view. Thought I was hot stuff until I realized I’d spent more time admiring the waves than actually hitting the ball. Ended up with a score higher than my cholesterol. But Kapalua? It’s like Coronado on steroids, minus the
Wailea Golf Club: Where the Fairways Are Fair and the Views Are Anything But
Next up on our tour of Maui’s finest is Wailea Golf Club. If Kapalua is the overachiever of Maui golf, Wailea is the cool kid who doesn’t have to try too hard to impress.
With its challenging fairways and well-maintained greens, Wailea is like that friend who’s annoyingly good at everything. You want to hate them, but you can’t because they’re just so darn likable.
The Gold Course: Where Dreams of Par Go to Die
The Gold Course at Wailea is the jewel in the crown, and let me tell you, it’s shinier than my forehead after 18 holes in the Maui sun.
Fun fact: I once played this course right after a round at Torrey Pines South. Talk about a study in contrasts. Torrey had me feeling like I was fighting for my life in a war against nature. Wailea? It was like nature and I had called a truce, shared a few cocktails, and decided to be best friends.
But don’t let its beauty fool you – this course has teeth. I’m pretty sure I left a piece of my soul (and half my golf ball supply) somewhere between the 12th and 15th holes. But with views of Molokini crater and the Pacific stretching out before you, you’ll be too distracted to care about your scorecard anyway.
King Kamehameha Golf Club: Where History Meets My Horrible Hook
Alright, history buffs and architecture nerds, this one’s for you. King Kamehameha Golf Club is where you go when you want your golf with a side of culture. This place is serving up a unique blend of modern and traditional architecture that’ll have you saying “Wow!” more often than you say “Fore!” (And if you’re anything like me, that’s saying something.)
Named after Hawaii’s greatest king (no, not Elvis), this course is private but allows limited public play. It’s like being invited to the cool kids’ table in the high school cafeteria, except instead of mystery meat, you’re being served top-notch golf with a side of breathtaking views.
The Clubhouse: A Frank Lloyd Wright Fever Dream
The clubhouse here is a sight to behold. Designed based on a Frank Lloyd Wright concept, it’s part golf club, part modern art museum. I half expected to see a docent giving tours instead of a pro shop attendant.
True confession: I spent so much time gawking at the clubhouse that I almost missed my tee time. And let’s be real, that’s saying something for a gal who once showed up to Aviara an hour early because I was so excited to play.
The Dunes at Maui Lani: Where Sand Traps Are a Way of Life
If you’re the kind of golfer who likes a challenge (or you’re a glutton for punishment like yours truly), then The Dunes at Maui Lani is your jam. This course offers a challenging and scenic layout that’ll have you questioning your life choices by the third hole.
Built on natural sand dunes, this course is like playing golf on a beach. Sounds dreamy, right? Well, let me tell you, after spending half the round trying to dig my ball out of more sand than there is in the Sahara, that dream started feeling more like a nightmare.
A Tale of Two Nines: From Oasis to Linksland
The front nine lulls you into a false sense of security with its lush, palm-tree-lined fairways. “This isn’t so bad,” you’ll think. “Linda was exaggerating.” And then you hit the back nine, and suddenly you’re transported to what feels like the Scottish Highlands, if the Scottish Highlands were plopped down in the middle of the Pacific and cranked up to 85 degrees.
Pro tip: Bring extra balls. And sunscreen. And maybe a sherpa.
Pukalani Country Club: The People’s Champion
Last but certainly not least, we’ve got Pukalani Country Club. If Kapalua and Wailea are the Gucci and Prada of Maui golf, Pukalani is the Target – and I mean that in the best way possible.
Known for its affordability and breathtaking views of the island, Pukalani is where you go when you want to play a decent round of golf without having to take out a second mortgage. It’s like the Balboa Park Golf Course of Maui, except with 100% less chance of finding my lost balls in your backyard. (Sorry about that, by the way, if you live near Balboa. I swear I’m working on my slice.)
The 18th Hole: A Grand Finale (Or Last Chance for Redemption)
The 18th at Pukalani is a doozy – a downhill par 4 with the clubhouse looming in the background, just waiting to witness your moment of triumph (or, in my case, last-minute meltdown).
I played this hole at sunset once, and let me tell you, watching the sun dip below the horizon as I lined up my approach shot was almost spiritual. Of course, I proceeded to chunk said approach shot and send it dribbling towards the green like a toddler’s first steps, but hey, you can’t have everything.
The 19th Hole: Where the Real Magic Happens
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Linda, this is all well and good, but where can a gal get a drink after 18 holes of humiliation?” Fear not, my thirsty friends. Maui’s got you covered.
Whether you’re drowning your sorrows or celebrating that one birdie you managed to squeak out (we don’t need to mention it was a gimme), Maui’s post-golf scene is as top-notch as its courses.
My personal favorite? The Plantation House Restaurant at Kapalua. Nothing quite like sipping a mai tai and watching the sunset over the same ocean that swallowed half your golf ball supply earlier in the day. It’s like closure, but with alcohol.
The Verdict: Is Maui Golf Worth the Trip?
Look, I’m not gonna lie to you. Playing golf in Maui isn’t cheap. By the time you factor in flights, hotels, rental clubs (because let’s face it, lugging your own clubs through the airport is a special kind of hell), and green fees, you’re looking at a pretty penny.
But here’s the thing: it’s worth it.
Playing golf in Maui is like playing golf in a postcard. Every hole is more beautiful than the last, and even when you’re hacking your way through the rough (which, if you’re anything like me, is more often than not), you can’t help but pause and think, “Damn, this is pretty sweet.
Plus, there’s something liberating about playing golf 2,500 miles from home. No one knows you here. No one’s seen you duff chips at Torrey Pines or end up in someone’s backyard at Coronado. You can be anyone you want to be. A scratch golfer. A pro in disguise. Hell, you can even use your real handicap – the possibilities are endless!
So, my fellow golf nuts, if you’ve got the means and the vacation days, do yourself a favor and book that trip to Maui. Worst case scenario, you play some mediocre golf in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Best case scenario? You have the round of your life and ruin yourself for mainland golf forever.
As for me, I’ll be over here in San Diego, reliving my Maui golf memories every time I shank a ball into the Pacific at Torrey Pines. Aloha, and may your drives be straight and your beers be cold!